Proofread my love story?

Take out the line "It was time to have a first crush" That doesn't make sense, take that line out. Take out the part "I can't believe my own brother would cause me to feel distress, Alex said" Alex wouldn't have felt distress, it was a normal question for Darwin to ask, there is not reason for Alex to feel distress here. Take that part out and leave the rest of what you said there. I love how you write Michelle as a strong woman, great job. She has her deal breakers in her relationship,, she sticks to them, Darwin changes for her deal breakers and she gives him another chance. Good writing there, very believable. Wait, what happened to first love, true love? Why didn't Alex move with Jane to the New Province? You have to work on your build up. I don't like the way you have a guy meet a girl one day, then profess his love for her and that is it. I think a guy meets a girl he likes, maybe he has to build up confidence to ask her out on a date, and it should take several dates before he professes his love to her. The characters need time to get to know each other, even if they know each other from the same town, the same school, dating is different, you need time to build up trust. Build up your story, drag it out. If a guy just comes up to me and says "I love you" it does not make sense that I am just going to drop everything I am doing and magically fall in love with him back and then the next day be married. A guy might ask me out, I might say yes, I would probably say no, but maybe the guy doesn't quit. Maybe he ask the girl out again and then she says yes, and they date several times and then when they get to know each other better, then he can say "I love you" I love you are words that are supposed to have meaning in a relationship, they are supposed to be special, and guys shouldn't just say them on a first date, a guy should say "I love you" at a special moment. If a guy just walked up to me and said "I love you" I would probably think he was crazy. Build up to the I love you moment, drag the romance out, build up to the moment, it should be special. A guy says I love you over a romantic dinner, he doesn't say I love you over a bag of groceries, but I like how you put buying groceries into the story. I Love the part where Alex learns from his failed relationships and doesn't quit Rosa. That part makes wonderful sense. Girls like it when a guy doesn't quit them. You have set ups in this story for future stories, so it is nice that the story doesn't have to end here.